A letter to me

Dear Nic,

Breathe....I know it's been hard. I know that sometimes you just want to fall into a pit and never jump out...I know. I know. Breathe. Just breathe. It WILL get easier. REMEMBER where you have come from. REMEMBER the chances you have been given. Second chances. Third, fourth...fifth....

Remember when the Drs said that you would die? Well, did you? Did you give up and die? NO. Of course you didn't because YOU, Nicole are a fighter. You NEVER give up. EVER. You are a stubborn piece of woman who can't take no for an answer and you will do anything to get what you want and fight for what you deserve. You can fight for what you want. Remember that when you don't feel like fighting anymore...

You, Nicole are blessed. You may not feel the blessings everyday, but look around you...you have a loving husband, who adores you....YES..he does. Even though you don't believe that anyone could. You also have three of the most amazing children ever. They have been entrusted to YOU, Nicole. To you! Is that just crazy or what? I know that you feel less than adequate as a mother most of the time, but truly you are amazing. Tell yourself that. You give yourself; your whole self to your family. Even when it meant missing out on your hopes and dreams for a time. Even when it meant sacrificing what society deems important such as the big houses, the flash cars and the groovy clothing. ps...you are a great dresser :) and you manage to do it on a tight budget. Another worthy talent held by you.

Breathe. I know that your past haunts you. I know that you feel that it sometimes it swallows who you think that you are and you don't think you are worthy of love when really you are SO worthy. You are WORTHY. You are LOVED.

I know that alot of the time you feel like you don't have much to give. You are a mother, a cleaner, a cook, a servant really. Have a servant heart. Don't let it become WHO you are but let it shape you into serving others with a willing heart.

I know that when you held your daughter in the hospital you felt the fear in an instant. You knew there was something wrong from the start and you knew the life that was ahead of you. You knew, yet you still loved. Unconditionally. You, Nicole have been chosen for this purpose. To love.

I know that you give your all to your friends. You give so much of yourself that there is barely ever much left for yourself. Try to be kind to yourself. Don't give it all away. Be selfish for what you need and don't let others treat you less than you deserve. Learn to walk away. 

Be kind to yourself and others, and once in a while just go that second piece of cake without feeling guilty.

Love me xxx

For more amazing letters to self head on over to glowless or the gorgeous Babymac and have a read.